You know those days that start one way and end a COMPLETELY different way, leaving your head spinning with possibilities and your heart exhausted with the heaviness of the decisions to come? Add in the nearly five hours at the hospital for testing, putting three crankies to bed by yourself, then flashcards like cytoplasm and mitochondria, plus the daily work of mom life. On top of that the possibility of adding two more wee ones to the mix? Whew. I may have ended up in bed early with hot fudge and caramel with ice cream… I’m not going to even mention the Cheez-its ❤
Flash forward to the next morning. Here I sit. Wondering, waiting, weighing the options. Kids’ lives hang in the balance. And these are decisions that could very well affect our life forever. Can we do this? Should we do this? Who do we choose? Is there some family better equipped to have these children? Will that sweet toddler attach to another family after he has been through oh so much? Will they be able to attach to him? So many questions but so many unknowns. It’s hard to make a decision when half the factors are missing.
Lord, what do you have for us? For Mark and I? For our family? Our kids? Can they share Mommy and am I willing to share? Please, Lord, give us wisdom as we walk through these days ahead. Give us your timing and patience as we listen closely to your guidance; and please, give us guidance of some kind! Be with us as we continue to wait, pray, and seek your face, Lord.