Unforgiveness… a journey

Forgiveness.  Such a hard concept in some ways, yet completely simple in others.  God has been speaking to my heart about forgiving my parents; more my mom, but really both of them.  A few weeks ago, I was privileged to see the movie, October Baby, in a special pre-release screening.  The movie is about a 19 year old girl, Hannah, who finds out she is adopted- after a failed abortion.  At one point she’s meeting with a Catholic priest and he challenges her, “You have the power to forgive.”  As I sat in church yesterday, my heart racing, anxious as I knew what I needed to do, that line repeated itself over and over in my head., “I have the power to forgive.”  I argued back and forth with God, “I don’t want to, my heart still hurts, I have the right to feel angry…” and softly God brought to mind all of the times that I ask him for forgiveness and he grants it, generously, knowing full well that I’ll hurt Him again.  I know I’m not God, but if he can forgive me over and over, then that’s what I have to do as well.  So here I am, moving forward, choosing to start the process of forgiveness; not sure what this time of healing will look like.  God, I am yours.  Forgive my sins as I forgive those who sin against me.




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