I’ve been seeing a new power in confession. Speaking out my struggles, giving them a name. Sharing them with others, accountable to move forward. There’s something about being specific; skipping over the generality and shedding light on what I really mean when I say something. Thank you to the sweet ladies I meet with for challenging me with this.
On Sunday, our pastor, brought up another angle of confession. Bringing my fears, failures, and sins to the Lord, but also my hopes, joys, and dreams. Taking time to confess them both, to see the value of all of them, me- a whole being.
My struggles; sins, fears, and failures:
- being short with my husband and my kids, not loving them with Christ’s love
- fear in the unexpected, the unknown, impatience and worry as I ask these questions: Will we find a house to buy? What does foster care look like for our family?
- Unforgiveness; it is such a journey. Just when I feel like I’m over anger or hurt, it creeps back in. Will I make the choice to forgive and continue to move forward? What happens when they fail me again? How does God continue to forgive me in completeness, fully knowing I will hurt Him again?
- Passiveness in my relationship with Christ; content to linger in ambivalence. God, please forgive me and teach me to desire you, to grow to love you and continue to seek after our relationship.
God’s goodness; my dreams, hopes, and joy
- Our family; I so adore our beautiful children and my amazing husband! I dream of trips, memory making, new traditions, holidays, and time spent well together.
- A home of our own; that we can welcome people into, laugh and love in, embrace our beautiful family.
- Being married to Mark forever; in love and enjoying each other.
- And for me, running a half marathon.
God is so faithful.